Examining Your Relationship with Mom

EPISODE 18 | EXAMINING YOUR MOTHER STORY

The other week, I was listening to a livestream dissecting how your mother’s voice affects your income, your earnings. While I’ve been on this journey of self-discovery, self-mastery for a while, there are emotions that I can’t quite seem to pin-point or allow myself to truly feel, as in, I’m repressing emotions.

When you repress these emotions, you block them from rising to the surface so you can clear them out, release them. You’re pretty much stuck with this block, you may not understand the intensity of it yet you know it’s there.

This topic how your mother’s voice affect your income was one of those things….I couldn’t’ quite figure out the role it played, that of my mother, on my current reality. We are going to talk about that today.

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You can say, I never recognized the foundation of my relationship with my mother and how its effecting me into adulthood.

I’m coming up now 35 years of age, while I always knew I had this missing piece with my relationship with my mom, always felt disconnected, that she didn’t appreciate or understand who I was as an individual, young woman, young girl. It was quite strained.

My sister and her seemed to have a stronger bond (no it wasn’t one of those jealousy things, my sister didn’t think the opposite, at least not that I am aware of). Don’t get me wrong, my mother has helped me a lot. Never emotion support however and, unfortunately, there was always a hidden, and mutual, level of mistrust.

Then there are the verbal expressions

Good – not great

Nice idea- not That’s a fantastic plan

good luck, I hope you can make it work – not you got this.

If you understand who I am, if we’ve ever met in person or spoken on the phone, my drive and ambition (clear as day-except to mom)

I’ve been on my official mindset journey since 2014. This journey to healing from pain I hold on to from my childhood, from my toxic relationship, working on releasing myself from a victim mindset and healing from my money story –yes, I am sure I sound like a hot mess but you shall not judge. Chances are, you come with your own, unhealed baggage. I mean that with love.

Anyway, I’m consciously learning and doing and free myself so that I can live a fulfilling life of my own. Something I coach my clients into doing – I need to walk the talk too. Only fair, right?

One of those areas I’m pulled to do more things that excite me and get me out of my comfort zone.

Over the past week, incredible opportunities have presented themselves to me.
BMW ultimate driving experience, – YES!
Decision to pursue EFT Tapping cert course to add to my coaching/mentoring practice –HELL, YES! EFT has been an incredible tool for me, I’d love to bring this practice to my clients and help them get a deeper transformation.
Opportunity to attend a podcasting conference in February– YES!

Let me note, I’m saying yes without knowing the how – why am I doing so, I understand the need to do things that light me up and get me out of my shell, and having trust that it will all align somehow and make possible.

I’ve saved the big opportunity for last…my cousin is traveling to the east coast and asked me to come along. It’s a 20 hour drive. I’ll be away from my Janae (3 year old) – scares me beyond anything. If you are a mom, you get what I mean. I’ve never been there before. My cousin and I haven’t even hung out longer than…maybe a weekend.

I said yes. I fucking said yes.

This is the level of pattern interrupt and reset, that I need to experience. And now.

I always check with my sister, even though its ultimately up to me, I’m grown, and yet I still feel I need a sign of approval to go for it – she was on the same page – she said I think you should go. She was genuinely excited for me.

My mom, the other go-to I’d call or tell, didn’t respond. Made up all sorts of excuses why she didn’t respond. 1st – didn’t know what to say, 2- too busy. Yada yada. When I got the chance to talk with her face to face, her response was, I hope you can make it work.

There it was. In the clear, an answer that I struggled to pin-point. My mother story.

I HOPE you can make it work.

Let me be clear, I don’t need a hope you can make it work. I need awesome – go for it!

I realized my entire life, my relationship with my mother has been so resistant, support from my mother passive, cautionary, restricting, kept me from going for it.

The tiny doubt she held, held me back. I’ve allowed it to continuously to hold me back. This was my revelation.

Now that its been revealed and brought to the surface.

What will I do?
My first step, journal memories relating to this message, observe feelings that come up for me, uncover deeper details of this story.

Then, I’m going to tap the shit out of it, find what other blocks that needs to rise to the surface so that I can release them.

(side note, I’m not going to go to detail about what I mean by tapping today but you’ll hear me talk more about it in future shows, EFT Tapping, emotional freedom technique – it is an incredible healing method that helps break up and release the emotional blocks that lye in your subconscious, any specific questions you have, tweet me or send me a dm on my Facebook biz page.)

I don’t want to live a life of hesitancy, of safety, of resistance…

I want to live, there is more in me.

The relationships with our parents define our perception of the world as an adult, you may not realize what is triggering you to behave or think the way you do until you examine those sacred relationships.

Have you examined your “Mother Story”?


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xo,

Crystal

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